we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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