there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
