ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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