It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
