It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
