I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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