you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
