Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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