this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
