You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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