i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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