i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
