it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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