I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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