I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
