got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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