It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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