The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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