distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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