If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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