Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
