this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
