My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
