I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
