is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
