I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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