stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
