It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
