When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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