I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
