im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
