Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
