Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
