I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
