He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
