Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
