You just made me feel so damn special
Duck Duck Cougar?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
