i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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