He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
