there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
