I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
