I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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