He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
