Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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