His pubic hair was longer than his dick
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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