hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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