i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
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