yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dick very happy bro
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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