And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
