Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
