okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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