i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
