You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
