Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
