Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
