it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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