i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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